You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
