When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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