that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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