woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
