May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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