I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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