About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
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found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
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"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
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