sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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