Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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