So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
