Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize