so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
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so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
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We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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