I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
As shirtless as possible
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
