i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
