this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
