My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
