just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
