I think i peed on brittanys purse
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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