I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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