i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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