The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
