you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
