I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
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Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
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Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize