it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
