I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
