No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
