he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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