you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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