this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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