Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
