Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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