you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
