Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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