I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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