i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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