Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
im holly from the hills drunk
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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