I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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