her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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