Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
