Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
