Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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