Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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