The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Why did my mother make you get naked?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
