Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
