Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
