chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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