I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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