Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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