you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
