Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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