So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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