Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
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