the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I booty called her while she was in labor.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
