Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
