Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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