Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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