All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
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